The 12 Minute Method To Daily Happiness

What if there was a 12-Minute Method to Daily Happiness?

What do you do when you’re feeling low and want a quick boost? What if there was a solution which would cost you nothing yet had the potential to transform your day into a much brighter and more joyful one easily?

All in just 12 minutes or less?

Researchers at Iowa State University recently did a very interesting study. They tested 3 different methods that could make someone happier. College students enrolled in the study were asked to walk around campus practising specific mental techniques that were later compared and assessed for effectiveness.

The 3 mental techniques were loving-kindness, interconnectedness, and downward social comparison. We'll look at this study today as we explore how we can apply some of what was learned from it, into our very own lives to increase happiness.

Technique 1: Practising Loving Kindness

It's often said the happiest people are those that desire for others to be happy. Now it doesn't mean you do this just to please people or do it at the sacrifice of your own happiness. It's more about genuinely listening to or finding ways to help others have a better life.

It might involve speaking a 'word in season' or kind and encouraging deeds that bring hope into people's lives and much more. The Iowa University happiness study found that the happiest students were those that looked at others and wished for them to be happy.

Now, you can keep it that simple or build on that foundation.

You see, at Seema with Love at Westfield Chermside, we get to witness this play out in our store daily. Every morning, we set out to intentionally create an atmosphere that is not only welcoming but also comforting and peaceful.

We light up one of our beautiful handmade, hand-poured scented soy candles (made with love) or wax melts and infuse the air with calming scents. We carefully choose uplifting and calming music to play in the background.

Everything we do instore is about loving people and being intentional in speaking life and hope into those that walk in through our doors. You see, we believe it's a privilege to lavish love on someone and make them feel special.

We even design our products with this in mind. So from the moment, you walk in through the door to when you leave we are intentional about love and kindness.

Maybe, you are thinking, "That's great for your business but how can I apply this in my own life and surroundings?"

How does one get started practising loving-kindness?

Well, surprise, surprise, surprise.

It begins with you!

1. Slow Yourself Down and Catch Your Breath.

Start by focusing on your breathing. Find a comfortable position to sit. Close your eyes and allow your mind to relax then breathe slowly and deeply. Put your hand on your heart and think about feeling relaxed and cared for. Sometimes beautiful 'nature soundtracks' or soft music playing on your favourite sound device are a great way to become centred again.

2. Use Affirmations To Change Your Thinking.

Did you know that there are between 45,000 and 51,000 different thoughts that cross our minds every single day? That’s almost 150 to 300 thoughts per minute. And unfortunately for most us, 80 per cent of these thoughts can be negative in nature.

Affirmations are really simple, short and powerful expressions or words that we can put together to help us change our thoughts about ourselves or our circumstances.

The words composing the affirmations have the ability to impact both our conscious and the subconscious mind so that in turn, they affect our behaviour, thinking patterns and habits.

You easily can write down a few phrases that are meaningful for you. You might find inspiration in your favourite prayers or song lyrics or any other helpful and encouraging quotations. Then repeat them to yourself both audibly and quietly in your mind.

As for me, I derive a lot of my affirmations from The Bible. I especially love the book of Psalms and Proverbs. I quote scripture and apply it to my circumstance. The bible says that the word of God is sharper than a double-edged sword that has the ability to transform our deepest being. And yes, they make a powerful difference to my day.

 3. Now Extend Your Reach To Others

Start out with your immediate family and friends. These are people you can easily express your affection for.

Then take it a little further and try to foster similar feelings for work colleagues, acquaintances and even strangers. With enough practice, you'll soon discover how good you really are in nature, deep down. You'll be surprised how you too want peace and joy, even for those you find sometimes difficult to relate to.

Technique 2: Practising Interconnectedness

In this highly connected world that we live in today, we are more interconnected to each other than we truly know. It also means we have so much more in common with each other than perhaps we realise. 

Students in the study were encouraged to look at people and see and think about how they were connected to each other. It was suggested that students think about the hopes and feelings they may share with others.

At our Seema with Love store at Westfield Chermside, we often have many of our lovely customers bring in their friends and family for 'tours' into our stores. We often hear laughter, when while discussing candle fragrances, they are suddenly surprised, they love the same scents. 

In a similar way, students from Iowa University who focused on what they had in common with others felt a lot more connected.

The interesting thing is, the more connected you are with others the less lonely you feel.

This is not only true for us as human beings but also in how we connect with our maker.

So How Do We Develop Habits to Fight Loneliness?

1. Express Gratitude.

Look for the positive qualities in others. Think about how they enrich your life. Let them know how much you appreciate them.

Try to be grateful in every situation. If you look hard enough in the midst of even the greatest challenges, you'll find so much you can still be grateful for.

Gratitude is like life-giving water. Wherever you come across it, it has the potential to revive and renourish our souls.

2. Cultivate Compassion.

If blaming others seems automatic, pause and change your perspective. Put yourself in the position of someone who cut you off in traffic. Recognize that you probably do the same thing sometimes.

Empathise with others. Give someone a break. Grace and mercy are yours to give and receive freely. Freely you have received, so freely you can give.

3. Deepen Your Conversations.

Dare to be vulnerable so others can get to know you. Talk about your hopes and beliefs, your faith and your dreams. Talk about the deeper things of life and connect at a deeper level. Sharing your journey with others and learning from someone else's blesses us all.

4. Share Your Interests.

Group activities also help us to become more familiar with each other. Join a Meetup group or start one of your own. Sign up for a class or play team sports.

5. Connect with Yourself.

Your relationship with yourself matters too. You’ll be more successful at making friends if you can enjoy your own company. Develop a hobby you can do on your own. Take a quiet walk just to enjoy the scenery.

Technique 3: Practising Downward Social Comparison

One of the strategies that were tested by the students was looking at the people they saw and thinking about how they may be better off than each of the people they encountered.

These students who thought about how they were more fortunate than others, didn’t seem to experience any happiness benefits. The researchers warned that competitive mindsets can be stressful.

Here's how we can avoid falling in this trap of downward social comparison.

1. Increase Your Awareness.

You may not realize how often you judge yourself and others. Pay attention to your self-talk and challenge yourself to be more accepting.

2. Seek Contentment.

List the blessings in your life and be grateful for them. Be at peace with what you have instead of grasping for more.

3. Limit Social Media.

The internet has made comparisons too easy now that you can see others posting about their exotic vacations and gifted children day and night.

Take pleasure in your own family life and stay off Facebook, Instagram or any other social media platforms you find yourself spending too much time on, especially if you tend to feel inferior or more down in moods after spending time on them.

In summary, the 3 options were loving-kindness, interconnectedness, and downward social comparison. Out of these 3 options in the pursuit of happiness, practising loving-kindness won hands down.

So, if you’re searching for happiness, wish for others to be happy.

Incorporating and practising loving-kindness into your daily routines will help to protect you from depression and anxiety, your relationships will grow stronger, and you’ll enjoy life more.

When you intentionally spend at least 12 minutes a day, offering kindness to others, you'll help reduce anxiety and increases happiness and feelings of social connection with those you come across.

And at Seema with Love, we have been blessed. We have the absolute honour and privilege to be able to impact lives and destinies for good with our words, hope, encouragement and lovingly made products. 

And together, we can all make this world a much better place.

And as always,

LOVE WINS!!!

From the wonderful book of wisdom and love,  1 Corinthians 13:12-13

" For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.

But the greatest of these is love." 

You are loved.

Seema